No one yearns to go through a life-threatening aneurysm and struggle with aphasia on the other side, but Lauren Marks feels a sense of gratitude after the experience nonetheless.
Lauren Marks explains this mindset in her new book, A Stitch of Time.
On page 84, Marks describes the clarity she felt due to the aneurysm and struggling afterwards to find words. She writes:
I had been exposed to this incredible sense of order, and it had been so pervasive, so all-encompassing, I felt its traces in me could never really disappear.
She often talks in the book about how all the unnecessary aspects of life floated away. Her mind tucked away the unneeded relationships, wants, and worries, leaving behind a strong sense of what was important.
Additionally, Marks talks on page 85 about appreciating her new way of viewing the world. Before the aneurysm, she was racing through life. After the aneurysm, she slowed down and noticed different things.
I was immensely grateful for this experience, which had altered the attention I paid to the world. In fact, grateful was too small a word.
It’s not that she wanted to be struggling to speak or read or write. She didn’t want to feel like she couldn’t communicate in conversations. But she liked having her vision of the world twisted. Having to struggle to find words meant that she used her words carefully, and she weighed other people’s words, too.
Moreover, she found calm, something that was missing from her pre-aphasia world. She was grateful to have this new feeling inside of her.
Do you feel grateful for any part of aphasia?
Image: Mick C via Flickr via Creative Commons license